Hi! So nice to meet you…

I’m so glad that you found me. That means you’re ready to do some soul searching for yourself. How exciting! This is just the beginning for you…Since I hope to hear your story one day, I’ll share my story first.

My name is Stephanie. I am married to my best friend and we have two beautiful daughters, who challenge me everyday. I was born and raised in Hawaii. I left home after high school in hopes of a bigger and bolder future. I always felt that feeling of “there’s more out there waiting for me..” so I left home to see if it was true.

Culture Shock

What I found was many challenges along my road to “success.” It was a bit of a cultural shock. Moving to a new place at 18, no friends, no safety net. I attended the local community college in hopes of saving money on college and this was challenge #1. getting to my dream school of UC Berkeley. There were lots of “nos” along the way, but I made it to my dream school and within the two year timeframe that I had set for myself. Even the college counselor told me that it could not be done. However, I didn’t give up and I just asked, “well, who do I need to speak to in order to get it approved?”

“I made it”

Once I graduated from UC Berkeley, among the one of the worst recessions, I ultimately settled with a secure job at a one of the big four accounting firms. I hustled to pass my CPA exam in one month, so I could get my salary bonus that was promised once I passed the CPA exam. Many thought I was crazy and there was no way that I could pass all my exams in one month. I made it work. I somehow always did. Why? Because I had to. There was no other choice. I thought I finally made it. After all, isn’t this the stable career that I had studied and worked so hard for?

Unhappy, overworked and faced with office politics (and a dash of a little misogyny and racism), I felt helpless and hopeless. I once had a senior write a scathing review of my work. I had a few people read it without disclosing who it was, and everyone unanimously agreed that this person sounded like they didn’t work at all and needed to be fired. That person was me! Instead of confronting the senior who wrote this (because I was scared), I asked for a mentoring meeting with my manager. While he agreed it was a terrible review, he consoled me with “It’s okay, at least there will be some improvement in your next review and HR loves to see improvement” Instead of advocating for me or encouraging me to speak up, I was silenced with a consolation prize of maybe getting a glowing “most improved” review next time.

Believing Everyone Else

After that, I impulsively decided that I couldn’t work there any more. I quit and jumped from job to job for the next few years. I was always under earning my potential. Now, looking back I know it was because I didn’t believe that I deserved to earn more. After all, look at the prior evidence of my scathing review. This is one of those pivotal moments in my life. Since when did I care what other people thought about me? That changed me professionally and personally. I began to believe that senior’s review and judgement of my work. I began to believe the manager who basically said, there’s nothing you can do. I began to tie my self worth into my career life.

After discovering coaching and really working on myself, I can look back and almost see all the pivotal, turning points of my life. I can see the exact moments where it broke me down a little by little. I didn’t know it then, but I slowly started to believe everyone’s thoughts about me, whether it was true or not. I took it as fact. I made it my new story.

I am a first generation, Korean American. My parents were blue collared workers. My dad was a house painter that worked 7 days a week and my mother a seamstress, who was also hustling to make that side money. I had never seen an example of someone working in an office. I didn’t know what office politics were. I was just taught to do as you were told and respect your elders. So, when all this was occurring in my professional life, I accepted it as it came. I never challenged it and I just thought “this must be how it goes.”

Picture Perfect

Eventually, I built my own 6 figure business, while working from home and raising my daughters. This is before work from home was the norm – pre-pandemic. In those days, everyone would say “you’re so lucky!” or “at least you get to work from home and watch your kid.” I’m sure now everyone after experiencing the working from home life is finally understanding why I would eye roll whenever they said that.

From the outside looking in, my life looked great. Loving husband, healthy kids, comfortable home…but there was always something missing. I was always searching for that missing piece. But, like everyone, I just kept chugging along. Feeling stuck, but just moving through life because what else was I going to do?

Then, the pandemic hit. I hit a wall. I started to see the fragility of life and relationships all around me. It really made me hyper focus on re-prioritizing my life. Was this it? Is this all that there was? Am I really going to JUST dedicate my lives to my kids? If I died tomorrow, would I be okay with that? Have I accomplished all that I was supposed to? What about ME?

The Beginning of My Transformation

Then, one day, my best friend introduced me to the Life Coach School podcast. She said “Hey, I think you would be good at this. You should listen!” and that was the day my life changed.